February 9, 2008

No More Chickens Allowed!

I have had it! I don't want to be a chicken owner any longer! Let me provide you with a list of all the reasons why I'm fed up with these hens:

  1. My backyard is covered in poop.
  2. They have yet to lay any eggs! What else are they good for?
  3. They attract large ugly scary predators that I have to deal with.
  4. I find 9 year old strangers running around my backyard chasing the chickens.
  5. I have neighbors knocking on my door asking if I'm the one who owns the chickens which are lose again down the street and around the corner?
  6. Now resenting my husband who refuses to put up a back fence and is now gone all weekend so he doesn't have to deal with the chickens running loose down the street and around the corner.
  7. Having to load my girls in the car to drive down the street around the corner to "catch" the chickens.
  8. Having every single person living in each one of the houses on that street outside watching me pull up to "catch" my chickens.
  9. Now the fun part... running around for everybody's amusement, in an attempt to snatch the chickens into my arms.
  10. Acting like I totally know what I'm doing, but really I have no idea. I'm just a city girl who thought it would be fun to go outside every morning and collect an egg or two.
  11. Finally catching Petunia and wondering what to do with her. I put her in the back of the CRV and hope she doesn't decide to jump over into the laps of my daughters.
  12. When the chickens are finally caught, and I start driving the car, to have the chickens freak out & fly all over my car, while my poor girls are both screaming at the top of their lungs.
  13. Remembering my one year old only has on her diaper, so a crazy attack chicken loose in the car might not be a good thing. I could only imagine gashing claw marks all over her perfect skin.
  14. To jump out of the car in haste and realize it's not in park! Jump back into car, put it in park and then have the chickens fly out my open door!!!!! (neighbors just standing around watching with their jaws dropped the whole time!)
How did I finally get these chickens back to their coop safe and sound? I literally chased them (running), cornering them, and chasing them clear back to my house! My girls, the whole time, still waiting back in the car!!! No sooner had I got my girls back in the house and the chickens locked up in their coop, was I on the phone with my "chicken lady" telling her "I will be dropping the two chickens you so kindly let us have, back at your house first thing in the morning!"

It was fun while it lasted girls! Here is a trip down memory lane...
Here you two are on your birthday. We watched you work so hard to come into this world!I actually let you run around my kitchen floor back when you all were cute and innocent. This was also before one of you grew up to be a big rooster. (we couldn't have a rooster around these parts, so he had to go.) Look at those cute chicken legs.
Your morning chat with Ava. It was a standing appointment every morning, there you were waiting to chat it up with baby.
I'm sure Eden will miss you the most. But she'll get over it with time!

18 comments:

Hailey said...

It was fun while it lasted, huh? (kinda) Hey, you were a city girl who didn't know better. Now you know the pros and cons of owning chickens. Thanks for the gritty info. I do not want to have chickens. You said Eden will miss them the most. I think your neighbors will.

Unknown said...

oh my heavens. that is hilarious, carolyn!!! i can picture it all in my head. note to self: no chickens.

Harlene said...

I adore you! Just think, in several years you will be sitting around with your teenagers and say, "Remember how fun those chickens were!"

Megan said...

I'm still laughing...

Holly O. said...

I'm super impessed you thought it would be fun to go get an egg or two every morning. I think I'll stick with pet store pets! Those little chicks sure were cute though, weren't they?

Heather said...

Your stories make me laugh... {I'm still laughing}
You are so cute too think that you could just go in your back yard every morning & get an egg or two!!:)
O.K. so I can understand why you would want to keep them when I saw them on your kitchen floor!! When they are babies they get ya every time... like puppies!!! :)

Dana said...

I think your neighbors might miss it the most to see you chase the chickens around the neighborhood. Now they have to look for a different kind of entertainment. =) Live and Learn....thats how we say it in Germany.

Marleen said...

You obviously made the right decision but yet it was so fun while it lasted. Atleast when you get old and grey you can share stories about how you used to have chickens.

Anonymous said...

Drop off the chickens! Are you crazy? Maybe you haven't heard that there are other things to do with chickens other than just collecting eggs. If you don't know what I'm talking about, just ask Colonel Sanders. Just think of the stories Eden would be able to tell her psychiatrist!

Marlena said...

Sorry to hear your chicken days are over but have to say, I won't miss the poop in your backyard. So when Aaron came home that night to a chickenless house, how did he feel?

Unguren said...

I can't say that I blame you for wanting to get rid of them. I like that one person said to eat them. Very funny. I once had a pet pig and my Dad wanted to name it supper. It makes for good stories when your older.

Darleen said...

Oh Carolyn I am laughing like crazy! Okay, I'm so sorry about your chickens and they have produced any eggs for you. I guess that's way they usually live on a farm.

Darleen said...

Oh my goodness I do NOT know how to read! Here's my correction:

Oh Carolyn I am laughing like crazy! Okay, I'm so sorry about your chickens and that they haven't produced any eggs for you. I guess that's why they live on a farm.

Callie said...

Can't wait to see you on some TV show like "America's funniest home videos"... of course submitted by one of your lovely neighbors. How funny! I am sure you will start to miss them soon...

Amy F said...

That sounds like a nightmare... glad you are laughing about it now!! I have a friend who has chickens and they are getting loose all the time... good thing I've learned the lesson from her instead of the hard way like you!

'A' for effort. It was a good run!

Anonymous said...

Well... We have good memories of the belovid chickens! Are the kids sad that they are not going to be around any more?

april said...

Wow, I always thought I'd like to have chickens too (mmm, fresh eggs), but you've changed my mind! Why do you think they never laid any eggs for you?

Amanda said...

I just wanted you to know that I recieved a phone call from my mom in Phoenix (yup, Gwen loves to read your blog) telling me that I needed to read this post. She was laughing so hard while trying to tell me about it, that it took quite awhile. Now I see why!

Thanks for getting the chickens so that the rest of us city girls know not to. I really am impressed that you had them at all!

Related Posts with Thumbnails